Gwyneth Paltrow learned everything she needed to know in high school

Oh, Gwyneth. Is there any subject that you will not deign to speak of with condescension? Gwyneth wants us to know that she didn’t need formal training as an actress – she was just that good, naturally. You know why? Because her mother is Blythe Danner, and yours isn’t. You can go to The Actor’s Studio and study Stanislavski, because you are not Blythe Danner’s daughter and acting simply isn’t in your blood. And even then, you didn’t deign to attend to Spence Academy, which Goop claims trained her for every single thing in her life, basically. Isn’t that funny? Everything Goop needed to learn about the world, she learned from being a popular girl in a private high school. That says it all, right?

Gwyneth Paltrow learned everything about acting from her mother, Blythe Danner, and her own instincts. At the Spence School last week, Paltrow told students she has no training beyond what she learned there: “I studied drama here, but I didn’t study it past being at Spence … My mother … has done a lot of stage work. I got a great education from her … and growing up here where I went to the theater all the time. I’ve developed my own technique, but the most important thing is your instincts.”

[From Page Six]

Keep in mind – Gwyneth’s own, special Goop technique is what enabled her to twang it up as a country singer in Country Strong. The Goop Technique has allowed her to shake her goop without rhythm on Glee. It allowed her to stand around and be the foil to Robert Downey Jr. in Iron Man. Because those of Goop’s most recent acting credits, and I don’t really think they speak volumes about her “talent” or her technique. But it doesn’t really matter – in Goop’s mind, she’s always A-list and she will always be A-list. She learned that at Spence too.

Here’s another Goop story, via the NYDN. Goop took her kids bowling. HOW GAUCHE.

Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t half-ass it when she competes against her kids. A source at Bowlmor Lanes in Union Square says the “Country Strong” actress brought her two children, Apple, 7, and Moses, 5, to the alley on Thursday for an afternoon of pin toppling.

After trading in her high heels for a rather plain pair of bowling shoes and signing in as “Mom” on the electronic scoreboard, the insider says Paltrow proceeded to dominate her progeny. The 39-year-old actress scored a respectable 83 for herself, while her daughter rolled a 70. Moses finished with 62. Expect to see a post on Goop about teaching your kids to lose with grace — and learning how not to gloat when you best your children in games of skill.

[From The NYDN]

It cracks me up to no end that Goop is so superior she won’t even let her kids win at bowling. “I have to teach them how to be the BEST, because they are my children, and it’s in our genes to be the best. How else will they learn if I don’t beat them until they get better?” Goop asked the Dalai Lama.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

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