The Judgement of Paris - by Classical Wisdom
Ladies and gentlemen, today I’m going to tell you about the Judgement of Paris, my favorite of all the ancient myths. In fact, it was one of the first ancient myths I ever heard.
It all began with a lovely, peaceful wedding party. All the gods and goddesses were celebrating and enjoying a glorious feast. I imagine them dressed in purple silk robes. (Back then, those who wore purple were very rich or powerful.)
All the guests were having an awesome time, but nobody invited the goddess of chaos, whose name was Eris. (In Greek, her name means strife and discord. Her Roman name was actually Discordia... but I like the name Eris better.)
But Eris had a plan... a plan that would ruin everything!
On a shiny golden apple, Eris wrote the words “ti kallisti” which means, “to the fairest.” Then, she tossed it into the middle of the wedding, through the golden gates. Three goddesses – Hera, Aphrodite and Athena – saw the apple and read the words.
Of course, each goddess thought she was the most charming and beautiful of all. Soon they began to quarrel. After a while, they asked the king of all gods, Zeus himself, to solve their argument. Clever Zeus, knowing a thing or two about women, decided not to get himself in trouble, and so asked a mortal to solve the problem for him.
That man was named Paris.
Each goddess tried to bribe poor Paris to give the prize to them. Hera offered to make Paris a powerful king. Athena offered to make him a brave and famous warrior. Then, last of all, Aphrodite came in and said to her fellow goddesses, “Ha! You know nothing about men! I will offer him the most beautiful woman in the world!”
Paris responded to each in his own way. To Athena, he replied, “Eh, nice... but I don’t really like battle.”
To Hera, he said, “Eh, good... but not really my style.”
But to Aphrodite, he replied, “Oooh, now you’re talking!”
And so, the goddess of love had her cute little son, Cupid, fly over and shoot a golden love arrow into Helen of Troy, the most beautiful woman in the world. She immediately fell in love with Paris and sailed away with him to his home in Troy.
When her actual husband, Menelaus, found out, he was fuuurious. And so began the Trojan War... but that will be a story for next time, my friends.
Until then, erroso from Owly and I.
Frida
Fun fact: Erroso means goodbye in Ancient Greek!
Now, what’s your favorite Greek myth? And if you were Paris, what prize would you have chosen? Write in and let me know!
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